I yearn to see

That which they seem to see

With such ease and wonder

To feel the joys they find

In the simple pleasantries of life

Pleasantries that evoke such happiness

Such strong emotion – such strong connection

Yet strive as I might

With every fibre of my being

I feel it not

Not e’en a twinge

Not a pinch not a whiff

As if it were jealously guarded

Preserved for those

More pure of heart

Than I.

Yet insurmountable grief

Shadows me, binds me,

Trapped within my very spirit

An aching sadness that amplifies

The meaningless

Of it all

“give me a reason” I plead

To see, To feel, to live

To climb out of the depths of this

Monster’s belly

With its soothing warmth

That I fear to leave behind

Yet so desperately want to